Season 8 of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is back like the Christmas gift Bravo knows we all truly deserve ! In the premiere Kyle and Lisa Vanderpump invite all the ladies on a Trip to Las Vegas to celebrate the Birthdays of Erika,Dorit and kinda sorta newcomer Teddi ( more on her later). If we're honest with ourselves RHOBH is everything you want a Real Housewives Franchise to be. This is aspirational living at its very finest with all the private jets so lets dive right in shall we !
Kyle : "In this town, fame and money come and go, but friends should not."
For starters this Tagline is weak I expect more from you as an 8 season veteran but I digress. Kyle is remodeling her home because what else is there for her to do also she bought a Birkin Bag and Visits Erika Jayne ( not to be confused with Girardi's office). She invites to women on a trip to celebrate the birthdays of Erika and Dorit but takes the presidential suite. #ShittyHost
Erika Girardi: "Some people call me cold, but that's not ice—it's diamonds."
Let me be Clear Erika Jayne/Girardi is EVERYTHING you can say otherwise but that's your opinion and it's trash. After a stint on Dancing With The Stars, and being parodied on SNL things are going amazing for Erika Jayne and her career with requests for more music ,live performances and a book. Kyle comes to visit Erika's new office and is wowed also the American Public learns about DSL and polite lips. Now that Erika has said it can you all finally agree with me that matte lips are tragic and its all bout a good glossy slutty lip ? I hope so cuz Matte Lipstick 9 out of 10 times looks tragic and it looks even worse if you have bad lip filler...lookin at you Dallas Medspa Goers !
Dorit : "I believe in an excess of everything, except moderation."
Dorit is remodeling her home and has been living in Miami as the renovations happen and GASP she has actually spent time with her kids ! I must say Dorit's son Jagger has made tremendous progress verbally and is just the cutest thing ever. Dorit is committed to socializing Jagger and brings him to a group music class at the home of Teddi. Throughout the Episode and specially in Las Vegas it is incredibly clear that Dorit wants to be Erika from the Glam Squad to the wigs ( please stop with the wigs its tragic please stop) she is trying SO hard and its awkward to watch also lets not forget that accent ...Oy.
Teddi : "Having the best isn't important to me, but being my best is."
Teddi is the Daughter of John "Cougar" Mellencamp .She grew up on Hilton Head Island but wants you to know that she knows the value of a dollar and that she married her one night stand with whom she now has 2 children, Slate ( why not just name the kid rock ) and Cruz ( Cute name but overused ) . There is something about Teddi that I don't like and I really don't know why but to her credit she has an AMAZING body that it's very clear she works out very hard for so kudos. P.S. Wanna know what she does for work ? She's an accountability coach because only in LA the rest of us have friends we don't pay to smack the Macarons from my our hands
Lisa R: "I don't have to buy it, because I already own it."
I don't get this tagline and I'm going to just pretend its not happening. I'm not really sure what Lisa is doing other than managing her daughters. It is very clear that she and they both fancy themselves the next Hadid Sisters unfortunately I don't see it as her girls seem spoiled and not all that interested in modeling but interested in being famous at least the oldest one anyway.
Lisa V: "The Queen of Diamonds always have an ace up her sleeve."
Nothing of note has happened with Lisa, Vanderpump Rules is on air currently so there's that and it looks like we will have some terribly manufactured drama later in the season. Kyle and Lisa goto lunch, Lisa spills Champagne on Kyles new Birkin on a Private Plane....SAME.
Next Week
The Ladies Gamble in Vegas and Erika Serves LEWKS !
I continue to give opinions no one has asked for !
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