Morris Brian Ashmon my Dad and the GOAT !
I knew I wanted to write something for Fathers Day I thought it might be good for me, my mom thought it would be good for me too. For those who don't know my father was killed by a drunk driver in 1997, thus my general distaste for the day. Its been almost 19 years since my Dad passed away and I have spent more years on this earth without him than with him. Not having a father here physically is my normal but on days like today I am reminded that I'm different.
I woke up this morning like any other, went to check my email then Facebook and Instagram and I had forgotten what day it was until Facebook reminded me .Pictures upon pictures of girls and their Dads ( cuz guys don't really post about that, too mushy) and I was reminded that I don't have a dad. My postable memories stopped in 1997 and there are millions of moments I will miss because he isn't here ( full disclosure I'm getting a lil wattery typing ) .
I grieved the loss of my father properly for all intents and purposes my mom did EVERYTHING to make sure my sister and I were ok. We saw counselors and we went to camps everything she could give us she did. Children unlike adults are far more resilient in situations like this and so as a child I was fine and really I still am but on days like today I'm reminded of what it means to be without a father as an adult.
I will have no one to walk me down the isle on my wedding day and my future children will never know their grandpa, those are super hard realities for me but then I think of all the AMAZING things my Dad gave to me..... Daddy Lessons If you will
Daddy Lessons
- "Life's Not Fair" - I remember always saying "That's not fair !" to my Dad and him responding with "Life's Not Fair" goodness was he right. Life isn't fair but I've learned through all of life's hard times love and laughter will get you through the hard times.
- "Going to college isn't optional" - This one is kind of funny but you guys I had no idea until high school that college was actually optional ! Literally NO clue ! My dad and I would talk on the way to school and I would say Daddy I'm gonna go to middle school and then he would say yes and the high school and college. The way he framed it I never knew it wasn't mandatory lol.
- "After a hard day at work beer, dry roasted peanuts and basketball will make everything ok"- While I have replaced beer with cider this is how i unwind after hard days and I learned it from my dad ! WE would watch the Bulls play on ESPN and I would yell at the TV I even remember asking my mom for boxer shorts because I wanted to dress like my dad while we hung out
- "Don't be a smart ass " - I am still working on this...sorry dad
- "Don't half ass anything" - This was a big one my dad was The HARDEST worker y'all ! I remember my dad had this unwaivering belief that i could do an be ANYTHING in this world but to do it i had to try with all I had. I remember him saying I will always be proud of you as long as you try your hardest . If you wanna be a garbage woman be the best garbage woman you can be !
On days like today it's hard but I am so greatful for all the lessons my dad gave me while he was here. I hope that one day I can be half as good of a parent as he was to me.
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