So the last time we were here it was 7 weeks ago #GASP. The following week I literally got a boyfriend on Monday (thats another story for another day) and then Tuesday came and I just said nothing. Fast forward to now and I'm clearly VERY single ! So I'm thinking to myself what do I share with them this week ? Do I share the hot messes that I see daily, do I tell them about the awkward date 3 weeks ago and the even more awkward being stood up 2 weeks later ? So many options ! So lets just start at the beginning with the never ending parade of f*ckboys ! If you don't know what a f*ckboy is look it up I guarantee you know at least 1 if you're in college you know more 1 So lets go over a few scenarios
Whats Poppin Guy
If I don't know you what makes you think i'm just gonna send you a list of activities ? Also did you just say what's poppin' ? I'm sorry is 2005 back do I need to pull out my Von Dutch Hats ? I honestly have so many questions in this moment. This will never work.
Come to My Party Guy
Yes let me come to your "kickback" so you can murder me. Like is he serious ? Is this real life ? What the Actual Eff ?
The CREEPIEST CREEPER
Please brace yourself for this next one every time I re-read It I am overcome with horror and disgust and I wanna get 5 cats but then I remember that I'm allergic and I hate cats ( kittens only please)
I'm sure you're wondering what I said in response well don't worry I saved that message too kids !
honestly I almost quit after this also what he proposed was basically a normal date but offering to pay me lets me know that you're going to kill me and I don't have time to die !
The Unicorn
Now I don't want you to think that everyone on tinder is bad there was this guy !
He wins if for no other reason than the fact that he called me a unicorn...well done sir well done !
Honestly I could go on like this forever but if I did that I would again need to resort to the cat thing and thats not an option so for now we'll end on a happy note and I'll see you with more of my dating misadventures next week !
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